Art.

I did something today that I haven't done in a long time. I dusted off my beautiful 35mm SLR Canon camera and realised how much i missed being a photographer.

For two years of my life I spent it working with my head in a sketch book dreaming up ideas of what i wanted to create. For a very brief moment there (well most of those two years) I doubted that becoming a journalist was what I wanted. For those of you who don't know me, my whole life the only thing I ever wanted to be was a journalist. Yet I took the 2year photography course because I didn't know what else to take and well because it seemed like an easy choice. Definitely not easy, and it opened my eyes to a whole new world. A world in which you can create exactly what you want.

There was nothing I loved more than taking my camera, going out, and taking photo's of anything that made me smile, made me frown, was ugly, or pretty etc. It was a way for my to express myself through the images I chose to take.
Whilst studying the subject a few of my favourite Photographers included Fashion Photographer Nick Knight whose work screamed high-end fashion with a pinch of fantasy. Dream-like if you will. And the work of David Lachapelle was mesmerising and enchanting. His work oozes colour and draws you away from your world and into his. His fake, crazy, insane work of art.

Whilst I adore being able to express myself through words, there's nothing quite like using an image to speak a million words. Because in alot of cases, images speak the words we are too afraid to say

I Love You

I Hate You

Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010

So Christmas is now officially over. It's not quite time to take the tinsel down and put away the tree but it is time to start thinking about what the next 12 months are going to be like.
Every year we make these ridiculous resolutions to ourselves and after a week (maybe a month tops) they've fallen to pieces. For me New Years is a time to reinvent yourself, with a good excuse as any to make decent and important changed to your life. It gives "A fresh start" a whole new meaning. This years going to be different to past ones. I'm not going to fool around with unachievable and insane resolutions.
My usual resolution list tends to include the following every year
* Vowing going to go to the gym twice a week
* Eating more healthily
* Not spend so much time on Facebook
You get my general flow, they're not exactly what i would call... meaningful!?
The past, maybe 4 months of my life, have been crazy, insane, eventful, exciting and disheartening. It all made me put my life into a different perspective and it's given me a different outlook on what i want from my life. Granted I'm 20 and how much can i really want from life right? But I'm a very emotional and impulsive person and that for one can make life more than a little interesting.

So this year there are just a few things on my to do list.
> I intend to take small steps to mend rifts in my past which affect my life now
> I want to let go of all the small things that upset me
> I'm going to take every opportunity that comes my way.

I believe in fate and destiny more than anything else. More importantly i believe in my destiny and that everything in my life happens for a reason. So this year I'm not going to force fate and predict my destiny. Because I've already learned... You rarely get anything you ask for.

Simply, In 2010, I'm going to let things happen

One moment in time

I've been neglecting you all. I'm so sorry
But I'm back, and goodness me what an eventful few months it's been. Or even an eventful few days.

As seasons change and pass me by i look at my life and ask myself where has it gone?

I really felt like I have learnt a lot about myself the past few months. Something has changed. The dynamic's of my life have shifted considerably and put things into a new perspective.
I had battles with friends when i was least expecting it, and I'm not going to lie, it threw me completely. I wondered for so long, how could someone who meant so much to me, just change and cut me out the way he did. Even now it's not the same. And it wont ever be the same again. I also wondered how one of my closest girlfriends could just disappear from my(or rather everyone) life for weeks on end without so much as a word. Was it something we did? Something we said? Or something you had to deal with alone?


I recently let someone go from my life. And it's so weird because i would have done anything to avoid it, yet it had to happen. He was someone i clicked with. Someone who made me smile and laugh, and I've not had that for a long time. I also want to thank him. Because without realising he taught me a lot about myself. I don't know how crazy its going to be... but i feel like... something, a chance has passed me by.

I dont know what has compelled me to write this today. I feel like something has changed and i cant quite put my finger on it.

I'm not sure if this blog has much sense. It's short and sweet but I just needed to write

Until next time my beauties, i shall be drinking myself into a merry state and enjoying the sweet vocals of Florence & the machine <3

My world. Your world. Our world

There are some things that you cant escape. Some things that you cannot run from. Some things that as much as you wish you could, you simply cannot change. If there's one thing in the world that I wish I could help towards its poverty.

Heal the world
Make it a better place

I do believe that I live through rose tinted glasses. I view the world in the way that I want to see it. For all its goodness and happiness and life. When in actual fact thats far from the reality of it.
Like you, coming from a developed country, I live in my little perfect bubble thats impenetrable from the outside. I never want for anything. If I want food, its put there on my place. If I want to wash, I just jump in the shower. If I need a drink its there in the tap. Yet take it all for granted. I know I do, but i've only started to realise just how blessed I really am.

For you and for me
And the entire human race

I've never been to a country crippled by aids. A place where there is no running water. A place where children are literally dying by the side of the road.
I cannot possibly imagine some of the horrors that Third World Countries must live through, and yet there we are complaining of our steak isn't cooked the right way. What sort of world is ours, if we cannot help pull others out from a place we would only describe as hell?

There are people dying
If you care enough for the living

Something I've always wanted to do is travel to a poverty stricken country and in some way no matter how small, do my part to make it that little bit better. To dig a well, to build a house, to take a bag of clothes, everything counts and I intend to include it in my plans. And whilst I'm unsure of when I can do that, in the mean time I donate £3 a week to Oxfam to make whatever change I can. Because that £12 can change the lives of an entire family. I'm also sure that I can deal with the fact that its one less night out a month.

Make a better place
For you and for me

I'm no preacher, thats not what I intended. I just believe that we should all open our eyes and not let the little things matter. To take off our rose tinted glasses and see the world the way it really is. As a place that needs help.

I left my heart... In the Highlands

'Where is your favourite place in the world?' My answer without hesitation, is Scotland. No matter where I'v been before, New York City, Jamaica, Africa, nowhere comes close to Scotland.
I've been coming to Scotland for... aslong as I can remember. Every holiday whether it be Christmas, Easter or Summer we would spend them in Scotland. Sitting on aeroplanes as early as two, looking for the care-bears hiding in the clouds, I remember it as if it were yesterday. Perhaps its because we (me and my two sisters) basically spent our childhood growing up here, that i feel so.... Patriotic about this country.

I'll start from the beginning. My mamma, Angie, was born and grew up in The Outer Hebrides, on a tiny little island called Eriskay. Having to learn English at school her first language is Gaelic. Talk about Scottish right? As one of nine children, i have aunties and one uncle a plenty! My mum was the only one to move South so natrually we have more than enough places to stay when we go to visit.

We would usually visit Edinburgh, were most of the family live, and it’s the one city in the world to make me feel so alive. A city bursting to the seams with character, the charming dated look of the city and the delightful accents are just a few features that contribute to this beautiful city. Every time I book my flights and I know im headed to Edinburgh I feel a surge of excitement I cant explain.

This holiday was different however. Just a stopover in Edinburgh provided us with just enough time to cram all the family into one afternoon (it was a miracle!). From there we hit the road and travelled north. And boy do I mean north. After travelling through ‘The Kingdom of Fife’ and ‘Perthshire’ we hit the Grampian Mountains, and I was hit by a view I had never in my short 20years seen before. The sprawling mountains into the distance, the hilltop houses standing alone in a field of wilderness, the sun setting into the distance, it actually for once, rendered me speechless. For I wondered how on earth I had never seen such natural beauty before. My book lay untouched next to me as I struggled to take my eyes off my surroundings. Little did I know what lay ahead waiting for me, for 1 hour north of Inverness we eventually reached Sutherland, our home for the next week. We had finally reached the Highlands. Here roads are not roads, they are little bendy lanes sprawling through the scenery, every corner you turn you come across a Loch, every second you are surrounded by cows and sheep (never in my life have I seen so many), everything about this place is different to the South. Everything is better.
From spending my days exploring Loch Ness (no, as hard as I looked I couldn’t find Nessie), to taking in the beautiful golden sands of hidden beaches and travelling to the most northern point of the United Kingdom (John O Groats) and taking the ferry out to The Orkney islands where we spotted the cutest seals in the world, everywhere I went I was fascinated. Pictures of these places just do not do it justice. You have to be here, to see it, to smell it, to really see its true beauty. The hidden waterfalls just a ten-minute walk from the cottage, the most beautiful little stream just outside my window, the baby Calves playing in the field across the stream, everything was perfect. I was even woken one morning by a cow moo-ing outside my window!
For me it was so exciting to experience this kind of life for a week. For I would never have realised it was here if it wasn’t for my mum bringing me.

The entire week has just made me fall even more in love with Scotland then I was before I left.
So there you go. Now you know my secret. That I am indeed having a secret love affair with Scotland and you know what? I don’t think its ever going to end.

Addiction

Sex? Drugs? Alcohol? Music? Sports? Work? Shopping? These are just a few of the countless addictions many battle with every single day. It's got me thinking, Whats my addiction? What do I feel so passionately about that I have to do or else I get all clamy and nervous about. It didn't take me long to figure out the answer. Writing. Whether its Blogging, writing an article, whenever I have a pen in my hand or I have to many thoughts I write.

There's a fine line between passion and addiction. What defines the difference? Surely you must be passionate about something you have an addiction for? Before I really thought about this I would have said I have a very deep passion for writing, and I do, but my addiction, its in me. My emotions, my thoughts, my dreams, my desires, for me its imperative to get them out into the world. I'm a very emotional person, very creative, very imaginative and its all reflected in my words and my writing.

But addictions can drive wedges and destroy lives. Addictions can kill, in the most tortured way, watching someone suffer at the hands of fate and a person not having the self control to control their addiction.
You would never take a pen away from a writer, take a guitar off a musician, take a football off a football player, take a boat from a sailor. So I often wonder why we justify taking a drink off an alcoholic? I don't in anyway condone Alcoholism, its just merely a question I wonder when put into this certain context.

My Writing makes me feel excited. My mind overflows with ideas, creativity seeps through every inch of my skin, and my fingers tingle when touching the keypad on my computer, I feel completely on top of the world because more than anything, I'm completely satisfied with what I'm doing. Am I weird? Or would you say that you have similar experiences to your addiction?
I feel incredibly blessed to be able to write as a career, because if I couldn't, I honestly havn't got a clue what I would do. I mean, I cant shop for a living can I?

I ask you, what do you feel most passionately about that borders on addiction? What couldn't you live without?

Sexy in the City

We despise them, we loathe them, we love them, we hate them, were amazed by them and we want revenge on them. Yes I'm talking of a game between sexes which is becoming just as much about women as it is about men.
The game? Cheating!
What makes a cheater? Is it right to have a passionate love affair? Can a cheater make a relationship stronger?
It often makes you wonder, when did cheating more about love and less about sex. For at least half of everybody who cheats claims 'but I fell in love', and perhaps some of them did.
Sex is everywhere. Every club you walk into. Every corner you turn. For now every innocent drink you buy for someone, the game is raised, and nobody even cares 'if you are already spoken for?'.
If you think about it, there's a significant difference between one night stands and a full blown love affair outside of your committed relationship. On all levels its hard to forgive if they continue to go back for more.
I've had the unfortunate experience of being hurt in this way myself. But lucky for me it's always a deal breaker. If you cheat, you get out. That's the way I see it, but for those in real long term relationships, for those engaged or even more so, for those married and with children, theres a lot more at stake, and a hell of a lot more to lose.

A question I have in the back of my mind is, can cheating make a relationship stronger? Could it make you sit down and re-evaluate the relationship and find out whats going wrong, whats missing, and where it can go from here. Perhaps it doesn't always mean over, maybe it means stronger?
However in some shape or form, a hurt lover always wants revenge. Either that or they believe karma comes back around. Because in this world nobody gets nothing for free.

Men, Women, Lovers, Partners, Husbands, Wives, Children, Brothers, Sisters, Parents are so often caught in webs of lies which threaten to blow apart lives.
The next time you cheat, dont think about getting your rocks off. Think about the heartbreak your causing at that exact moment you slip between the sheets.

10 Guilty Pleasures

The thrill. The excitement. The pleasure. The pain.
As humans we naturally seek out what makes us tick. We enjoy it and allow ourselves to travel to new heights through our pleasures.
Below are a list of...a few of my guiltiest pleasures....and a few I know you can all relate to.
BUT, can you guess which ones are my personal favourites? I may just suprise you.

1) Watching someone fall over in the street.

2) A secret lover. A lover who nobody knows anything about, your little secret, your pleasure.

3) That extra half an hour's sleep in bed when you just know you should be washing your hair.

4) Winning. The thrill that you've beaten someone else? Nothing like it.

5) Paying £100 for that pair of boots you know you dont need, but want.

6) Secretly knowing that part of you would rather be Samantha from Sex and the City rather than Carrie.

7) Spending the day in bed with a partner...When you promised friends you would see them. Naughty!

8) Singing along to the Spice Girls. We know you love them. Fact

9) Being so drunk you cant stand. We know its not good... but who cares!

10) Obsessing over someone you find hot. They never going to know... so obsess away!

Where in the world

For the last two, perhaps three years I've been lucky enough to experience some of the worlds most fabulous places. From watching Lady Liberty from the back of the Staten Island Ferry, having my hand kissed by a Centurian in the Collesseum, watching an incredible sunset on the middle of the Sahara Desert to swimming with dolphins in the Carribean sea, I've seen some things I wont forget in a hurry.
I love to travel. I know I'm one of billions to make that statement, but the different between myself and so many of those people is that what I mean by travel... doesnt mean sitting on some sun kissed beach tanning until im bronzed. No. By travel I mean experience. Obviously I will do all the things the tourists do, but I love nothing more than getting to grips with a culture I know nothing about, and emersing myself in different values and life experiences. If I'm paying good money to travel half way around the world, want to see it all, not just the inside of a hotel.
Learning new languages, tasting new foods, smelling new smells, seeing new things and doing something you would never normally do at home is what travelling is about.
It's completly acceptable to become a completly different person you leave your home country. In England I would never have the guts, let alone the opportunity to climb right up the middle of a waterfall, I would never learn to surf, I wouldn't be given the chance to swim with sharks. Yet as soon as you touch down in another country, everything, becomes an opportuinity. The world quite literally, becomes your oyster.
One of my personal favourite experiences was on my trip to Jamaica, less than a year ago. We were offered the chance to leave the Carribean beach and head inland up the mountains. And where did we end up? In no other than the final resting place of Reggae legend Bob Marley. We travelled to Nine Miles through hours of Jamacian Mountainside until we reached his former home and mausoleum. We were sang Bob's songs by men who knew him, got to play with his great grand children and ate jerk chicken from roadside huts. It was whilst making this trip that I realised how different Jamaica was from the coast to the mountains. Words dont do it justice, you would have to experience it to really understand what I mean. It's opportuinities like this that I count my blessings and thank God for.
There is so much in the world to do and I intend to do and see as much of it as I can.
So as I pack my suitcase ready for another trip, I wonder where in the world I can go thats even going to come close to last years adventure.

I Hope

> I hope to one day have the courage and strength to say 'I love you' to somebody other than my friends and relatives

> I hope that one day i can truly appreciate the small things life

> I hope to leave a significant mark on my chosen field

> I hope to revolutionize the thinking and thoughts of those around me

> I hope to stand true to my convictions and know I did the right thing

> I hope that you will understand all the words that we never spoke of

> I hope to live, laugh and love like no other

> I hope to Love the world, and everything it stands for

<< Untitled

If your born without wings
do everything you can to grow some - Coco Chanel

Blind Date

Riffling through some old diaries I was delighted (genuinely) when I came across one which detailed a certain blind date i attended just before the start of my university year. It highlighted the akward silences of all first dates, the 'will he kiss me' feeling at the end of the night, the who pays for the bill trouble, but what it told me, which I had forgotten, was that this was the only time in my life, that I had been given flowers. By a stranger no less.
As a writer I like to keep a note of everything that I know will make me laugh later in life. After reading this particular story back to myself, I ask myself the question, whatever happened to real dates? What happened to Flowers, and goodnight kisses on the door step? More importantly, what happened to romance?
Now clearly Im not here to talk about love, because frankly I have never been in love. I have never had the pleasure ( or the pain ) of that ' I cant live without you love' which I don't doubt to be the most incredible feeling in the world, but it just seems like there's such a lot to live through before prince charming comes along. Believe me, I have kissed many a frog( i use the word loosely), and I imagine, continuing to do so for the forseable future. I must admit I have been very lucky. These 'frogs' of mine, the ones that lasted longer than a quick kiss in the dark corner of a club, have all genuinely changed some part of my life in even the smallest way.
There was my childhood sweetheart A. For goodness knows how long we had that childish innocent relationship where holding hands would be enough to make us feel naughty. It's something that makes me smile when I look back at my childhood. After A came B. Coincidence completly. He was a real frog! Never treated me like I thought I should be. Always made me do the chasing/running/ anything else that needed to be done. But regardless of that towards the end of the relationship we ended up experiencing a tragedy we were both to young to understand. I learnt not to hate without understanding. And then, boy o boy there was T. Someone who I completely thought the world of. We spent some incredible times together, which I honestly wont ever forget. But the heartbreak ( its the only word that describes the feeling) that I felt when everything went wrong, saw me build up my walls which have yet to be broken down.
I am a girl of many mysteries, and my experiences have led me to chase for what I want ( him ) but to shield myself from hurt. But I'm 20 years old with only what I feel as one serious relationship under my belt, but through all the many people Ive had dates with, who promised to call or text, who had been romantically involved in my life nothing has made me feel as incredible as the moment my blind date pulled out those flowers and said I was the most beautiful girl in the room.
To me thats romance.
Sending a goodmorning text to the person you adore, sending roses, suprise visits, thats all romance.
It's all beautiful, and every body should be given the chance to experience it.

A Lost Love

It will be four years ago next month. They day the most beautiful boy in the world was taken from this life and passed into the next. The victim of a careless driver, who didn't think about the consequences when he got into his car that afternoon. A young man lost his life before it had begun.
Jay was a beautiful boy. So at ease with the world, so happy, and always there for the people who needed him. He had a best friend. And they were best friends in every sense of the word. Six months before he died he plucked up the courage to tell his friend that it was more than friendship he wanted from her. And who was she to say no? She absolutely adored him.
He would text her every morning, without fail, even if he was going to see her later. He wanted her to know that she was all she thought about. He was 17, she was 16. He was her first love. It was everything your first love should be.
Her world fell apart when she heard he wasn't coming back. Everything she thought she knew felt like a lie. You do what you have to do though. You have to get on with your life regardless of the pain.
Everyday that Jay wasn't with her she wished that she had told him how much she loved him. And not necessarily in love. But a love, their love, that only they had understood. It was unspoken, but understood. It taught her a lesson. It taught her to always, always be open to love. And if you want to be with somebody, tell them so. Dont let them pass you by because you were afraid. Because if Cee hadn't been afraid to express her feelings, Jay would have known the amount of love in her heart for him. He'll never be gone. Not in the way you understand gone.

Everybody experiences life in a way no other person can imagine. Emotions, Actions, Love, Experiences and Tragedies pass through your life uniquely. I thought it was about time that i shared a tragedy, although i hate to use that word, with you. Althought please dont any idea's about the people in this story.
Names have been changed to protect a few for reasons of my own.

If all else fails

There are two things in life that we can be certain about. At some point we all live, and we all die. It's the natural process of life, but it's what we do with those years of our life that are the most important.
Yet as we grow and progess through life, there are always obstacles and misunderstandings that deminishes the mark we try to leave on the world.
Religion can conquor but more often than not it usually divides. War destroyes friendship and love, leaving the world in conflict and hate.
Should it not be our goal to allow an Israli boy and a Palistine boy to walk arm in arm if they choose to?
It's often hard to see the world outside of the bubble that we live in. Yes we watch and listen to the TV, we read the newspapers, but do we really understand the emotional turmoil the world is in?
Why is we we cant see past whats happening in our lives. This week the biggest drama of my life seemed to be the fact that i had to pay £50 for a train ticket home. It's hardly worthy of the time I gave it.
I watched panorama one night, and I saw a six year old palestine girl describe the moment a bomb fell onto her house leaving her entire family minus one brother dead. She had even drawn a picture using red to illustrate the blood she saw. It was at that moment that my heart broke, and I understood the world we live in.
Slowly one by one, us priviledged people from the developed world will put our rose tinted glasses away and see the world as it truely is. And that is the day that the world will change and become a better place.

To Shop or not to shop?

I was asked a question the other day. A question that actually took me quite a long time to think about when the answer was staring me in the face the whole time.
What do you like to do? was the question. Now many people would say playing or writing music, or singing, dancing, but not me. No. My only answer was this- I like...no....I LOVE to shop. For me its not just a chance to purchase some new goods, but it something that makes me smile from the inside out, and makes me glow. If only to myself!

Anybody can say that they love shopping. Young,old,male,female everybody shops. It's a world wide phenomena that in some senses only us in privileged developed countries can experience.

For me shopping is this - The tingle that runs from your head to your toes when you see that perfect black strapless dress. The rush of blood to your head that leaves you feeling dizzy when you stumble upon the shoes you've been looking for all year. The butterflies in your stomach when you hand over your card to purchase your dream handbag. All those feelings are what I feel when im shopping. To anyone who knows me, they already realize I have a problem, and I see myself getting into a financial mess in my future over my little addiction.

Sifting through Vogue (my inspirational fashion bible) I've currently set my heart on the most incredible pair of Louboutin stiletto heels with their trademark red sole's, which I can only describe as perfection.

I can only dream. Whats a girl to do? With every possible corner I turn theirs something i want. Want being the most important word, I don't need these things, I want them. However I'm pretty sure that for the time being at least my measly student budget wont quite stretch to incredible buy's I'm destined for.

In the mean time, I'll bide my time until one day, everything I can ever dream of and more is mine.

Fresher Fever

Just as I'm writing this now, I've spent the last three days working non-stop trying to sort essays, presentations and practical work. It's hard, I seem to have more work than anyone I know and its taking it toll. But at the end of the day, I am studying to have a degree in something I love and I'm doing it in a place that I could never imagine leaving.

Since starting at Lincoln University my life has been transformed. I never believed it when people say uni years are the best years of your life, I can still remember packing up and car and wondering if i would ever make new friends! But i've been lucky. This place has become my second home, and the people, my second family.
I could never imagine my life without the friends that I have made. Of course I moan and if I have a problem with someone I will confront them about it, but at the end of the day, without this crazy, mad, incredible group of people I wouldn't be the girl I am right now.

Living where I live in courts is something I'm not going to forget in a hurry. The kids of flat 6 are the most ridiculous bunch, but they're my bunch....the troublemakers of court 16 and I couldn't imagine having anything less than this.
Rolling out of bed 10mins before classes begin, sleeping until 5pm at the weekends, and basically never eating, are only things your allowed to do when your a student.
I have never drank so much alcohol. I have never had such random nights in/out. I have never laughed so much I thought my sides would split, and I never never met a more incredible group of people.

The first year is nearly over, its gone with the wind and I can barely remember saying goodbye to my parents.

Freshers year is the ultimate year, and as we prepare for our deadlines, start thinking were about to fail our exams, we wonder where our second year will lead us, and we ask ourselves will it even come close in comparison to the first.
As we pass our freshers flag to a new group of shy, excited teens, we know how much they're going to love it, and wish we could re-live freshers year all over again!

A completly B*Witching night

Last night my Saturday night frolicking took me to the Engine Shed in Lincoln. Now Saturday nights at the Engine Shed (Essential) Isn't usually for me. 1) It's a bit to expensive and 2) I've usually crashed and burned from Friday night to possibly make it two nights in a row.
However this week was an exception. For roughly about the last month St Patrick's night at Essential was always going to be a big one because two Irish ladies were set to perform and cause a stir.

Do you recall a certain Irish pop band called B*Witched? You guessed it, two of the four were there in Lincoln to perform. Now back in the days when I came up to my mothers waist, and the only bands I thought were cool enough for me to listen to were Five and the likes of other pop-tastic bands. B*Witched I've got to admit were among my favourite's.
I even saw them once...maybe even twice on tour.
But back to last night, I do actually think its incredible to find, how so many 18-23yr old's actually love the 'trash' that perform at The Engine Shed. From the likes of gangster Coolio to the teeny bopping B*Witched, us students love anything, as long as it can make us sing and move our hips. Because lets face it, at the end of the day B*Witched are not cool. And well, they never will be.
But regardless of stature or coolness, two Irish ladies put on quite a performance, and you know what, we LOVED it!

Oh what a night!

It's Friday night and here I am sitting alone in an empty flat, whilst all of my friends/flatmates and generally everyone who I usually hang out with are up and out dancing the night away.
Why am I not with them? Well to cut a long story short, last night I uncharacteristically drank what I feel I can only describe as my body weight in vodka, and more than 24 hours later I am still suffering the side effects.
I have discovered I cannot do what so many others do. Drink two nights in a row! It's not very student like of me, but i just cannot work out how so many people can drink night after night after night, wake up with constant hangovers, and feel ready to do it all over again the next day. It would just kill me.

I attended a research thing at my university not even three days ago and read this story about a young mans battle with alcohol. I know that a lot of my friends thought it was a load of rubbish but I found it quite interesting and in some respect an eye opener.

Everyone automatically assumes you know what alcohol can do to you in the long term, but I cant remember a time when someone actually sat me down and told me. The basic's are if you drink too much, you liver will fail and you wont live for very long. But what about the effects that wont kill you? Like the damage to your skin. The damage you cause the relationships in your life. The damage to your mental state, and not just the physical.

It made me think more about binge drinking and how much my drinking habits have changed since coming to uni. Back at home I rarely drank once a week. Here your considered 'unsociable and really not very cool' if you don't like to drink or go out.
I dislike the fact that I feel I have to drink when I go out with my friends, because being the only sober one of the group makes me feel uncomfortable.

Those mornings you wake up with the shakes because you feel so bad. Your head is fuzzy and a haze of thoughts about what you might have done, but cant actually remember. Your stomach churns, telling you that you need to be sick, and you cant move because you ache all over from the night before.

Those are some of the details kids/teenagers should be learning. The real day to day effects of alcohol. I'm reminded of this after some heavy nights, and every morning after the night before i regret wasting the money and losing my head.

Lets face it, is it all worth it? If you cant remember...did you even have a good night in the end?

This bond will never be broken

Im sat here reading todays copy of The Times, looking at the main story- The death of Ivan Cameron.
I was travelling through London yesterday on my way home when i picked up the London Paper and read the headline 'Son of David Cameron dies aged 6'. My first reaction was 'Oh my god' followed by a slight sense of shock.

Now im just a Journalism student with a very weak sense of direction when it comes to politics. I know that Gordon Brown is the Prime Minister and I also know that David Cameron is leader of the Conservative Party, buts thats just about as far as my knowledge stretches.

As I sat reading the story about what had happened to Ivan and the life he had led, I genuinely felt saddened. Not just for the Cameron's, but for every parent who has lost a child. Obviously I havent got a clue about what that feeling must be lik,e and im pretty sure I can't even begin to comprehend it, but I can think of the relationship that I have with my parents- the closeness and the bond that we share, and I realise how devastated they would be if they ever lost me or either of my sisters.
I dont believe it matters what your disabilities are or even your age. No parent should ever have to bury their child.

The death of Ivan Cameron only highlights what thousands of parents experience everyday. They watch their children suffer from incurable illnesses, unable to take away their pain and all they can do is watch from a distance hoping the suffering isnt as bad as it looks.

I suppose that one good thing about this young boys death is that it casts a light on such heartbreaking circumstances occuring everyday all over the world. To normal people, just like David and Samantha Cameron.
They will never forget their first born son, and know that the bond they shared with him whilst he was alive, can only be strengthened from where he is now.
That bond will remain the most precious thing in their lives.

Skinny. Fashion or Faux?

I remember back in 2006 when all I ever saw gracing the front pages of every celebrity gossip magazine, were super skinny size zero models. So after what feels like at least a year, the world, or at least Britain snapped back to reality and finally accepted a curve or two.
Skinny was over. The hourglass, the curves, anything but bones became fashionable.
Even Nicole Ritchie, possibly the biggest victim of this fad, gained a few much-needed pounds to her petite frame.

I don’t feel the need to sit here and spoon-feed you the details of this World Wide revolution as I am without a doubt sure you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Yet as I stood today in a line waiting to purchase myself a very intellectual book I didn’t in a million years think I would turn around and see what I saw. For standing right there in the middle of the Magazine rack were the dramatics I thought had disappeared forever.
‘Has skinny gone to far’ was the headline Heat magazine had chosen for the current issue.
I was completely caught off guard. I mean, really? Again? I for one thought it was just a passing phase. I have been proved wrong.

I find hard to comprehend how a woman who is beautiful, who has so much going for her, and who has a world of adoring fans can think that she looks beautiful when her arms are so thin you think a hug would snap her in two.

I indulged my curiosity and bought the magazine, but couldn’t help thinking that fashion is back to the beginning. Literally. Back to Zero.

So as I put my size eight jeans away and have a dig around for my size six ones instead I ask myself the question, am I going to fall victim yet again to the idea that skinny is pretty and that bones are sexy? I hope for my sake that the answer is no.